Saturday, October 29, 2011

10 ways to have fun when it is snowing in your town WAY too early

If you're like our town(Lexington, Massachusetts), it has snowed two MONTHS before schedule. So I kinda had to do this list. So pick up your shovels, people, cause we've got work to do!

WARNING: all these rules are for the snow being like, TWO-FEET DEEP.

The first one is kinda a HAVE-TO.

1. GET MOVIN' AND PICK UP THAT SHOVEL. You're really just gonna stand there with all that undetermined snow on your lawn? At least do something! In this case, START WORKING.

2.(optional)STARE AT THE WINDOW UNTIL YOUR EYES HURT, OR YOU"RE HUNGRY. You see, one of the winter wonders that you get out of snow, is to see the changes in your wonderful land outside. I love to!

3. AS SOON AS IT'S DONE, GET OUT THERE AND MAKE A SNOWMAN! Or a snow woman, or whatever. Ya have snow, ya play with it. THAT IS A RULE.

4. GO SLEDDING. The marvelous wonders of going sledding, the wind in your cheeks, the snow all over your face, getting in your eyelids--and I'm back on Earth.

5. GO SKIING. Your dad keeps nagging at you to do it, so why don't you? It would only be once, after all...

6. GET A SHOVEL OF IT AND STUFF IT DOWN SOMEONE'S JACKET. Aaaa, the glorious victory of war. Cousin of snowball fighting, only better!!!

7. MAKE AN UNDERGROUND FORT WITH YOUR FRIENDS. Whenever your little sibling comes around, you kill them off with your mega-sized snowballs. Awesome.


9. FALL INTO IT REPEATEDLY AND GOBBLE IT UP. Nothing like the taste of snow.

10. TASTE THE SNOWFLAKES. On your tongue, baby. If people think you're weird, spit it out at them(if it didn't melt).

BONUS: If for some reason, you hate snow, lock yourself in a room until it stops and/or you die.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Crazy Dr. Seuss

I've always respected Ted Guisel. I liked his books, and all, but I thought they were a LITTLE crazy, with the Gobber-Shtrapkins or whatever. I guess he was abnormal. You know? So I guess that I didn't like him that much. Until that day in our pond.

And, well, I know this is kind of stupid, but I had never gone swimming in there. And I'd accidentally fell in. When I had tried to get out, I fell back in. And over, and over again. Then, all of a
sudden, I got pushed to the direction of the sun, and I panicked. What the heck was happening? I shielded my eyes from the bright rays of the sun that almost had blinded me. Then... wait a second! I could look directly into the sun! It wasn't... well... SHINY. In fact, it was more orange than yellowish-gold. Neon, laminated orange. Ten seconds later(at least, I THINK ten seconds had passed. For some reason, I counted the seconds), it started absorbing me!

I was thinking, "What's going on? Where's mom? And dad? And how is something making me fly?"

It was true. I was floating above, flying toward the orange planet. It was getting closer, and closer, and bigger and bigger. I was starting to get scared. I mean, what do you expect? This had never, ever happened before! And we'd had this pond since we moved in, which for me is BEFORE my birth!! I sucked in my breath, and shook it out.

Then, I blacked out.

When I woke up, I was on this weird orange pavement. Some orange, fluffy creatures were walking on the pavement, whistling and all that. They had no clothes on, but it didn't seem like they were naked. It was really windy, wherever I was. I was surprised I wasn't cold. Then I looked down at myself and realized why. I was looking down at an orange creature.

I screamed with no voice. Then I started to panic. Where was my voice?! Why couldn't I talk? Was this normal every time you fell into a lake? Was I dead?

The creatures started staring at me. I could hear their voices wide and clear, in my head. It was weird, since none of us had mouths.

"Who are you?" the creature echoed in my brain. "Why are you here? I've never seen you before, so what are you doing here? Are you a human? If you are, why do you look so handsome?"

I thought I was going to die. That is, if I wasn't already DEAD. I tried to talk back, but again, I couldn't hear my voice.

The creature craned her(or his, I had no idea, since, of course, they weren't human) neck, trying to hear me. "Man, talk LOUDER," her--he--IT said. "I can barely hear you think."

So I tried to "talk" louder. "WHERE AM I?"

I heard my voice mildly, but inside my head!!! What the heck was happening?

"A little better," it grumbled. "You're in the town of..." It looked at its watch, or whatever-it-is. "Nuston, of course!"